American land is different than English land. Right now, seeing it after almost 9 months, I prefer the American land. I couldn't stop smiling when I saw mountains again.
But I can promise you that in far less than 9 months I will be missing English land even more. If you drew a diagram of your heart today, it would be split in half: one side would be labeled "everyone and everything I've missed for eight months" and the other would be "everyone and everything I've come to love in eight months." The worst part is, these two sides cannot touch. They're like trying to fit together the wrong sides of a magnet. Inherently incompatible. But equally important to me. I've cried on four different forms of transportation today and the day's not over. My heart has been repeatedly cracking all day. Because my plane has been chasing the sun, it has literally been the longest day of my life with me experiencing around 22 hours of daylight before I finally see the sun go down. There were also some dramas with my catching my plane, so it has been a long and miserable type of journey. Going abroad, at the time, felt pretty natural. Something that I was meant to do. It wasn't a big deal, because I had to do it. Looking back now, it occurs to me just how big that step was. I left everyone and everything familiar to live abroad for nine months, which is kind of insane. And it's definitely changed my life. There were a lot of downs in the whole experience. But I promise you there were a lot more ups. I wouldn't trade the friends I've made and the experiences I've had for anything in the world. I believe I took full advantage of the opportunity even if it did terrify me. So I guess want to tell you to also take that chance, whether it's to study abroad for a year or simply changing something in your life. The experience is worth it. Memories are priceless. My heart is an abstract painting splashed across the globe. Nobody told me how much your heart would have to expand when you travelled. The growing pains hurt, but it means my heart is getting bigger. Love is limitless. It is not based in time or space, there is not a limit on how many people and places can have a sport in your heart. It hurts when you make more space, but there is room.
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Amy Golden
Amy will be spending the academic year at the University of Sunderland in England studying journalism. Archives
February 2018
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